Quarter Life Crisis

Borderline Multiple Personality Disorder!

Nicole — Wed, 07 Dec 2011 07:53:19 +0000

I’ve been so inspired lately by music. Music is my soul. I live and breathe music. And I’ve been writing like crazy. I feel like myself again :)

I’m so wrapped up in my main character for a novel that I’m working on. I feel like her. I’ve never been this wrapped up in a novel before. I’m excited for where this is going to take me. It’s borderline multiple-personality disorder :D No wonder so many authors end up going crazy…

Filed under: Uncategorized

Hunger

Nicole — Wed, 07 Dec 2011 07:45:50 +0000

Fire
Passion
Tension
Hunger

Fire in my eyes
Lust in my soul

Window to my desires

Hold me
Pin me
Tease me
Pleasure me

Light the fire in my eyes
The fire in my soul
Fuel the passion in me
The passion for your touch
Build the tension
The tension for unyielding pleasure
Feed my insatiable hunger
The hunger that feeds this lust

Filed under: Poetry

Healing

Nicole — Mon, 28 Nov 2011 04:58:26 +0000

Raw

Scathed

Burning

The healing will come soon.

Broken

Shattered

Fragmented

The healing can begin.

Torn

Bruised

Wounded

The healing is working.

Mended

Restored

Settled

The healing is complete.

Reanimated

Rejuvenated

Refreshed

Filed under: Poetry

Forbidden Desires

Nicole — Mon, 28 Nov 2011 04:44:22 +0000

I silence myself and let my thoughts float free as our lips timidly meet. It is a hesitant kiss: simply the touching of two lips. Forbidden, yet delicious. This must be what Eve felt like when she was in the garden. I’m sure she took a moment to breathe in the innocent scent of the apple, wrap her desirous fingers around it, lust for its delicious juices. I picture her eager lips, paused in hesitation on the delicate skin before she finally devoured it in an eager fit of desire.

I’m suspended on the precipice of my own sin. In this perfect moment I’m spellbound. My hunger is consuming every part of my being. I reach my lips to his once more. And in this moment I know there is no turning back.

Filed under: Poetry, Stories

This Year

Nicole — Mon, 28 Nov 2011 04:42:45 +0000

This year I’ve accomplished so much. I look back at where I was last year, and I’m amazed. I’m not sure it’s possible for one person to go through so much change in a year. If my last year’s self met me now, she’d be awestruck. 2011 was definitely a good year…much better than 2010. I’m excited to see what 2012 brings.

Filed under: Growing Up

Inspired Again

Nicole — Mon, 28 Nov 2011 04:39:48 +0000

I’m feeling inspired again. I’ve always been inspired by Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight series. Her narration style draws me in and demands my full attention. Much of my writing to date has been inspired by her novels. This time; however, I was inspired by Breaking Dawn, the movie. Moreover, the soundtrack has proven very inspirational. Sleeping At Last’s song “Turning Pages” is what did it for me. This song was written specifically for the movie. It is perfect. It’s enchanting. Endearing. Lovely. It’s the kind of song you wish a man would write for you. It captures Edwards character perfectly.

Stephenie Meyer was inspired by Muse’s songs. I am inspired by her movie’s soundtracks. Amazing.

I want to write something worthy of such beauty. It’s there. I need to tap into it.

Filed under: Movies, Rants and Raves

The Haunting

Nicole — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 04:32:10 +0000

You haunt my dreams

Staggering in unannounced

As if you were a wanted visitor.

I try to escape my dreams

Fleeing from you

As if you were a monster.

Perhaps you were a monster

Scarring me

Damaging my future

and leaving it subject to hauntings.

Filed under: Poetry

Just Plain Sad

Nicole — Thu, 29 Sep 2011 05:05:40 +0000

I think it’s just plain sad when I get tired at 8. Lately I’ve been in bed by 9. How sad is that? Shouldn’t a 25 year old be enjoying late nights and parties?

Filed under: Growing Up

Broken Dishes

Nicole — Thu, 08 Sep 2011 04:02:48 +0000

Broken Dishes.

Shot gun to the head.

911 on the line.

Hoping nobody is dead.

Yelling. Screaming. Fighting.

Can’t seem to find the silence.

Crying. Lying. Blaming.

Everything is intense.

Confusion fills my life.

Broken dishes on the floor.

Nobody to sweep up the mess

or kick your ass out the door.

Responsibilities that were never mine

Explode

Responsibilities that were always yours

Explode

Dishes that were once whole

Explode

Gun shots that were never meant

Explode

The never ending pain in my heart

Explode

The forgiveness you desire was broken with the dishes.

Filed under: Poetry

Fault Lines

Nicole — Thu, 08 Sep 2011 03:56:37 +0000

Paranoid. Rushed.

Blame others.

Nothing is your fault.

Tired. Angry.

Yell at everyone.

Nothing is your fault.

Scared. Egocentric.

Listen to nobody.

Nothing is your fault.

Careless. Reckless.

Ignore your duties.

Nothing is your fault.

Dangerous. Untrustworthy.

Lie about everything.

Nothing is your fault.

…Everything was your fault.

Filed under: Poetry

Made Me Feel Like Rhinoceros Poo

Nicole — Fri, 19 Aug 2011 05:08:23 +0000

Have you ever watched a movie that made you feel like a big pile of rhinoceros poo? I have. I remember as a child I saw Cool Runnings. Afterwards I felt pretty bad that I’d never been in a bobsled before (and Southern California practically feels like Jamaica). But that’s a whole nother post…

So last week I went to the movies and saw The Help.

I really had no idea what the movie was about except for two things: 1) it was based on a book and I love books, and 2) Emma Stone is the main actress and I think she’s amazing! Of the two things I knew, I thought it would be a FAN-tastic movie.

And it was.

Except for the fact that I left the theater feeling like an even bigger pile of rhinoceros poo. The movie dealt with the theme of racial inequality during the 50′s. That was hard to deal with. How can people be so ignorant? I was angry. I felt embarrassed for my own race.

I also felt like poo for not doing more with my life. The main character in The Help makes an effort to end racial inequality, at the risk of losing her life. When have I ever risked my life for anything? I feel inadequate for not fighting for something. Weird, right?

What’s our big issue nowadays?

Filed under: Movies

Polar Opposites

Nicole — Fri, 15 Jul 2011 06:22:40 +0000

Growing up is changing what I believe in. I used to believe what my parents believed. And then I went to college. My view widened (although not that much….you’d understand if you knew where I went to college at). Then I started working…in the real world. And I moved away from my hometown. I started thinking for myself. Three things that I strongly believe in are things that my family stands against. Strongly.

How is it that I can grow up and spend 20-ish years in one mindset and all of sudden, one day, decide that I feel the polar opposite?

Filed under: Growing Up, Rants and Raves

Generational Differences: Blaming, McDonalds, and Cell Phones.

Nicole — Fri, 27 May 2011 23:51:25 +0000

I grew up in the “Blame Someone Else” Generation. It started small. “No, Mom, of course I didn’t spend all night on the computer…Dad just forgot to turn it off.” It quickly evolved into bigger lies. “No, Mom, I swear I didn’t get an F in science. It must have been a computer glitch.”

I blame this (haha) on the McDonald’s Dilemma. Remember when (and if you’re my age this would be childhood/teenage years) everyone was suing McDonalds for everything? My coffee was too hot, my cheeseburger addiction made me fat, my kid choked to death on a happy meal toy, etc. Well, all those successful lawsuits taught us unsuspecting children a great lesson: nothing is your fault if you can rightly justify or blame it on someone else. Want proof? My generation saw the boom of TV courtroom shows to handle this new phenomena: let’s sue everyone we know!

This further branched into NCLB (No Child Left Behind). Schools were under-performing and what did the government do? Blame the teachers, states, and schools. They didn’t fix the system…they just pointed fingers. Once again, this taught my generation a valuable lesson: why fix it, when you can point fingers?

The war on terror? 9/11? Blame it on oil, blame it on Bush, blame it on whatever.

So, today I fully understood how my generation blames everything on everyone else. I understood this in relation to my mother. Here’s how it went:

I got my cell phone bill and was appalled to find $30 in text messaging overages (I’m lame and have the lowest texting package). So I call my service provider and blame it on something, whine, and expect the charges to get dropped or lowered (I actually had to act surprised when the lady offered to drop the overage charges).

Is this the standard for my generation? How often do we call creditors and ask for extensions, fee adjustments, or other handouts? How often do we expect this treatment and get upset when it’s not given?

I thought of my mom, of the older generation. She would never call and ask, much less expect, fees to be dropped. Especially for something she did. I should have owned up to the fact that I sent those messages and I went over and I should pay the bill. Instead I did what my generation has become an expert at: I got out of it!

And that my friends, is the difference between our hard-working predecessors and the current generation of immature young adults.

Filed under: Flashbacks, Growing Up, Sorry Mom

Since the World is Going to End…

Nicole — Sat, 21 May 2011 23:38:35 +0000

I want everyone to know some of my confessions. The rapture only comes around once a lifetime you know. Enjoy my hastily written rapture poem.

“Confessions on the Eve of the Rapture”

I love my husband more than anything else in the whole universe.

But if I could do it all over again, I’d marry Bill Gates. Or Channing Tatum. Or Ryan Reynolds. Or Adam Sandler.

I went into a job that I thought I’d hate, but I pretty much love.

But if I could do it all over again, I’d be born to wealthy, powerful parents and be a professional mooch.

My student loan bill amounts to a small, cheap, house.

But, since the world is ending, I’ll probably stop paying my student loans. Hell, I’ll take out some more.

I love living in a small, secluded part of the U.S.

But, if I could do it all over again, I’d live in England half the year and Italy the other half.

What confessions would you make if you knew the world was ending?

Filed under: Current Events, Poetry

And Now That I’ve Ranted…

Nicole — Tue, 17 May 2011 01:23:54 +0000

…time for some margarita therapy and Call of Duty. Killing random avatars online with a game controller is very cathartic. Especially if you have a headset with a microphone…….

muaahahahahahhahahaaha

Filed under: Uncategorized